Put yourself on the market

A little game I had The Collective play yesterday to while away the workaday grind.

Imagine, I said, that an estate agent was going to be putting you on the market. What would they write about you? Everyone eventually wrote theirs (except for Buz, whose entry I wrote to “kick things off”) including neo-Surrealist Caroline. Here are the results…

Nic
Used to be a very sought after area (yay me!) but a little worn of late, with that settled, ‘lived-in’ look. Structurally mostly sound with few areas of concern. Major work to the substructure in the past year has not been patched as well as it might, but doesn’t detract from the charm of the property. Comes with small sub property suitable as granny attractor.Value: probably negative equity, but in time should come back onto the market with gusto – an investment opportunity.


Buz
A ramshackle, run-down old heap. Faces monitor. Could do with a bit of shoring up. Tendency to lean over to one side.Grumpy aspect. Some tidying required. Not much up top. Lounges. Reception occasionally warm. Subsidence risk. Extension approved and in process of delivery. Value: £7/4s/3d – Jam jars can be used in part exchange.

Ian
Medium sized 1970’s built property with features of the period. Unusually thin thatched roof needs some attention. Some evidence of subsidence in the centre section of the property, with the overly thick walls probably not helping. Gloomy outlook in general is offset somewhat by large dining room. Mains Gas. Mostly vacant possession. Interesting door knocker.

Caroline
Lock up garage in block, red door. Fits one family sized hatchback, a dusty workbench and any number of old brushes, a hoe, a broken spade and, of course, a couple of fork handles (yes indeedy)Electronic door opened only by remote control. Remote control has been lost. P.O.A.

Alf
Somewhat shabby 1970s building. External areas require attention, foliage over-running. Internal fixtures of dubious quality. Front paunch added recently. Quick sale needed.

Ben
Caveat Emptor.

Feel free to treat your chums to this insightful passtime. You may discover what they actually think of themselves.

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