Am dun bin on holidates

August 28, 2006

“Top Doc” Dave and me set forth, fifth and sixth last Monday and high-tailed to the Emerald Isle for 6 days of Guinness, Whiskey and “Full Irish” breakfasts.

The pictures are here. For some reason Photoshop has jiggered with the original pics and made them all small. Maybe I’ll fix this (but I doubt it). I will indulge you all to an entry about our adventurous thrills-and-spills when I’ve done some washing.


osverbation

August 19, 2006

After all these years you would have thought that people may have worked this out (and I count myself among the guilty parties here too, so I preach from a standpoint of a fallen man):

When locking your car with your remote key, you don’t have to point said key at the car like a gun to make it work.

It will work perfectly well if you point the key at yourself and press the “magic button”. Try it. You might like it. And, like all of these things, in years to come, scientists will find a reason why you shouldn’t do this (gives kids headaches/makes you get scurvy/encourages rats).


Star Wars: An Old Rope

August 14, 2006

Bleed more cash from the fanbase, George

Seems to be that with the “Special Edition” on disc 1, the “Original version” is an “extra” rather than the main feature.
Why put the SE on there anyway? EVERYONE who wanted it, bought it 2 years ago when you said that it would be the only time it would be available on DVD…

Just put the Original version on a disc in a box with the original video artwork and flog it for 8 quid.

A much more fitting tribute I’d say.

(Not that I know anything about Star Wars, you understand. (Except that it’s overly long and not as good as you remember it). Now Empire Strikes Back, there’s a film!).


You’ll forgive my cynicism

August 10, 2006

about this.

So soon after this was announced.

But, meh. Good job Herr Blair started his holidays ok yesterday.


If you’re going to doctor a picture…

August 9, 2006

Do a decent job!

The job the idiot did on that Reuters Beirut bomb picture is terrible! The trick with faking pics is to not repeat obvious patterns in chaotic systems like, oh I don’t know, smoke.

I mean, look at the “plume” on the left, it’s like it’s got six spooky eyes staring out at you:



Latest from this guy:
I hear he’s captured a picture of Elvis speaking to George Bush in a street in Chelmsford.


PS./Update: Über-amusing web-hackrag The Register features this story.


Explain

August 8, 2006

1. Why the gimps at the Tax Office think I’ve not paid the stamp duty on my now blood-stained house. (I have. Here’s a clue for you fuckwit taxmen: When checking to see if you’ve had the Stamp Duty for a PROPERTY, how about doing the search using the “Address” as the primary search criteria, rather than “Owner’s Name” which, it happens, you’ve got WRONG. There is no such person as the name the letter is addressed to. Idiots).

2. Why BT (who have a Direct Debit set up for my account) have sent me a Red Reminder Bill, pay within 10 days or we go to “Vinny & Associates c/o Down The Docks”?

Oh, that’ll be because this is the UK in 2006.


Helping with enquiries

August 6, 2006

Yikes. Someone got stabbed outside my house on Saturday night and proceeded to bleed copiously over my front step and path as well as nextdoor’s wall, step and path.

Turns out it was a rum old do, and I was sat in my kitchen and there were ambulances, policemen, and, er, more policemen. And some ambulances.

The upsetting thing is that it doesn’t apear to have made any of the local news. Ach well.