My dear colleagues have to put up with a lot of old toot from me at work when testing faults in the Microsoft Office Suite (not that there are any, honest. It’s all good stuff, go buy it).
Here’s an example I’ve just put together and sent to Stuart to test a reported fault where the Unread Mail count is increasing when a Draft is saved or a message is automatically deleted without being read
Hello STUpert the Bear (everyone knows his name)
always a pleasure to see you young man. I often wish that I was you because of your rugged good looks and nice collection of jumpers and cardigans. I once bought a creme egg when I was young and put it in my back pocket. swiftly forgetting it was there I then decided to go for a bicycle ride in the countryside for the afternoon. these were the days of long, hot English summers when kids were allowed outside before Sony said that they weren't allowed out because they had to play on the playstation and eat pringles, pizza and Mars before dying of heart disease at age 17 due to overloading their systems with coca cola and red bull (it gives you wings cos you die and turn into an angel if you drink too much of it). anyway I soon found the creme egg on my return home as it had melted in my back pocket and filled it with goo and foil.
it's not a very interesting story, but at least it's an email that will go into my drafts folder so I can see what happens to my unread count.
trendily retroJanuary 10, 2007
I’ve decided that retro is the new cool.
It’s the new new.
New is so old it’s embarrassing.
You’ve got version 8.1? Well I’ve got the trendy retro version 7.5. It’s got style and class your new one can only dream of. It’s got “the look”. It’s timeless. It’s classic.
Yes! My jeans are “classic”. My trainers I’ve been wearing for the last 3 years? They’re now shabby chic (they’re also lethal if it’s wet out, but, well, who cares when I look sooo fab in my cool duds?).
Your phone can take pictures can it? And play music? Well, has yours got a dial? And a long lead? Can you pick yours up and say “Operator, get me Woodbridge 344” and get put through to a man who doesn’t understand how the “speaking stick” works?
Pah, I thought not!
Now leave me alone to write a text message… Ah… Remind me, how many turns of the dial for an ‘M’?
(Note: Yes, I might want an iPhone, but I want it in 5 years’ time. And I’d rather it came with just the 48k of memory and an 8-colour pallette).
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