Years ago, I used to run a fanzine along with the venerable Buz. In fact, it was started 15 years ago this month. Following on from an argument on t’emails, an explanation of the Thing Monthly was required.
This was “lifted” from Wikipedia:
The Thing Monthly, an occasional, badly DTPed fanzine along the lines of Irregular Shed (but with better staples). Winner of the “Damn Damn Damn, We Don’t Need This Kind Of Competition You Basts” Award from Your Sinclair (of a parish) the TM (as it was known in certain circles) lasted for 5 years, having produced 37 monthly issues.
Subjects covered
Maths was not one of the subjects covered in the TM.
Humour
The jokes in the TM could be categorised, sorry, certified. Well, the writers should have been. The TM contained four (4) entire jokes, repeated with regularity across the 37 issues, and indeed within each issue. These jokes were:
- The Jealous Giraffes
Written and drawn by Mat Beal (AKA Lame Bat/Meat Lab), the Jealous Giraffes were a single frame cartoon featuring two comedy giraffes. One would be performing some kind of action (or not) whilst the other would be looking on whilst thinking “Lucky git”.
- Mike Grady
The explanation of this is too tedious to mention, but whenever Mike Grady made an appearance in the TM he would always introduce himself like this: “Hi! My name’s Mike Grady, but my friends call me Mike, Micky, or Mr. Grady”
- Joanna Lumley
All lists (or failed jokes, of which there were many) were to be concluded with the catch-all “Joanna Lumley”. Mainly due to Alf’s obsession with the lovely Joanna. The TM The Fifth featured an article on the discovery of the Eleventh Biblical Commandment. I’ll not spoil the punchline.
After The TM
Following on from the percieved success of the TM, editor-at-lager, Alf, wrote the Fabcomedy.net news. For about 8 months, top notch comedy comedy gubbins was sent, daily, to the inboxes of those-in-the-know. (They knew how to press Delete).
[Edit: For shame, I got the Mike Grady joke wrong. It should read thus:
“Hi! My name’s Mike Grady, but my friends call me Michael, Micky, or Mr. Grady!”
Shame on you, Buz, for not spotting the deliberate mistake.]
and now – my descent into madness
October 31, 2007List (1):
Things to pick up on the way out of the door on the way to work:
1. Wallet
2. Cash
3. Mobile phone
4. Packet of snot rags with which to dab at my dainty little hooter
5. Keys
List (2):
Things not to pick up on the way out of the door on the way to work:
1. Packet of Heavy Load Ceiling Fan Fixings
The thing is, I didn’t notice I’d picked them up until I was half-way to work and I looked across at the passenger seat to check I had the things in List (1).
Donations welcome to my nursing home fund, ta.