now ebuyer need a kick

December 17, 2007

Dear ebuyer

Thank you for cancelling the RMA. It’s the most effort you’ve bothered to put into my return since I raised it.

I asked for your carrier to pick up the item on Thursday 29th November. I can only assume that they have not taken their thumbs out of their rear-ends long enough to drive here to pick it up. Manual gear changes are murder when one hand is wedged soundly, yet obviously so comfortably.

In your cancelling of the RMA, your implication is that it’s me at fault. Thank you. Do you treat all customers like this? However, you might notice that I added a note on 5th December asking if the part was going to be picked up. Did I hear anything from you? Did I? (The answer you’re looking for, by the way, is “no”).

Feel free to re-open the RMA, get the courier to actually do their job and take this broken piece of electronic tattery away ASAP. You could also ask them to bring a working one in return (after the boys in the lab have exhaustively examined the returned hardware to make sure I’m not fibbing to you. I picture the scene almost equivalent to one filmed by Stanley Kubrick at the beginning of “2001: A Space Odyssey”).

God knows what I would have had to do if I’d have wanted my money back, though lube is pretty cheap these days, hence I went for the easier option of a straight swap-out.

I look forward to your swift reply and prompt action. However, I should warn you that I’ve noticed a group of pigs checking the wind direction and putting on flying jackets. It can only be a matter of moments before they finally do it.

Yours, rantilly


(part two) christmas e-cards a-go-go

December 11, 2007

Here’s the next exclusive boredofjam Christmas card. This one’s for the laydeez.

Card 4

One more design to come, maybe tomorrow if I can be fagged to finish it off.

(part one) christmas e-cards for you to print and/or send

December 10, 2007

Hello reader, seasonal greetings to you.

Please find below three new boredofjam e-cards for Christmas 2007. They’re all A4 size and all 150dpi jpgs. If you’d like PDF versions, just ask.

I have plans for two more desgins, but time is pressing and deadlines (especially the 25th one) don’t wait.

For those with a mind for software, they were designed in Scribus, the Gimp and OpenOffice 2.3.1. The resultant PDFs were viewed through Foxit Reader.


Card 1
Card 2
Card 3

(And as ever, if I’ve not sent you a card personally (as I’m a lazy good-for-nothing fucker to be honest, and stamps cost the Earth these days), download and print out your favourite, cos I designed it specially with you in mind).

soon and very soon

December 7, 2007

The Annual boredofjam Christmas cards will soon be available.  Three top comedy designs! Come one, come all!