thoughts on encounter at farpoint

March 25, 2008

OMG, Riker’s so slim (but he still walks sideways for some reason).

How short were Troi’s dresses? (Yay!)

And Tasha Yar! (Double yay!)

That’ll do.

easter watchering 2

March 25, 2008

Oh, and on top of all that, I watched the BBC’s version of The Passion.

The main things I’ve learnt from this version of the Easter story are:

1. Unlike Luke Wilson, Jesus’ eyes are too far apart.
2. Jesus’ mother, the BVM, used to be married to Richard Briers in Ever Decreasing Circles.
3. Mary Magdelene was hot-hot-hot!

easter watchering

March 25, 2008

Of course, all the talk around the euphemistic water-cooler today was about how many Easter eggs everyone got.  I didn’t get any. I got a big box of liquorice.

Raspberry “flavor” liquorice. From dear mother. I suspect she believes me to be blocked up or something. And before you get all concerned about me, I’m not, send me not packets of Ex-Lax or Fybogel.

In between my bouts of extreme looseness this weekend I found time to watch a few DVDs of no particular value.  In order of watching:

1. Pig In A Day. Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall and his butcher mate (he’s got a beard and a deeper voice… he’s butcher… oh please yourselves) take apart a pig and demonstrate the art of butchery thereon. It’s a fascinating look into how you’d take a knife to one of your own-grown piggies if you were a smallholder.

2. 300. Homo-eroticism everywhere, and the fit bird from off of Terminator: The Badly Made Series. The effects are pretty tasty examples of what can be done with a few million quid and some green screens. But the rest of it was pretty fuckin’ camp. Who’da thunk?

3. 28 Weeks Later. Ah-ha! A zombie film, and I love zombie films. This one is a pretty good example of the genre, except for the series’ continued insistence that zombies can run. Read the books, guys, zombies are the world’s best comedy bad guys. I enjoyed it, although the corny set-up for 28 Months Later (coming in 2009, folks) at the end was a bit bloody obvious. Why do films have to come in trilogies these days? Anyway, where 28 Days Later was all atmosphere, suspense and a bit of gore, this one is gore and action all the way through. And a much better film it is than its predecessor.

4. Vacancy. Oh give me strength. Kate Beckinsale, how I adore ye. Oh Luke Wilson, how your eyes are too close together. This film tries very hard to replicate the Hitchcock/Psycho style. Even the title sequence evokes a 1950s/1960s suspense film. However, the terrible script, the illogical leaps the main characters make whilst in the situation they find themselves and the unbelievably camp main badguy all add up to someone somewhere owing me 81 minutes of my life back. There’s not even a fake-ending-you-thought-you’d-killed-the-bad-guy-oh-no-you-haven’t. In all, don’t bother.

tedious euro-fact

March 18, 2008

Not getting political, but those with Office 2003 listen up:

1. Start Excel
2. Whack in a Euro sign (Alt-Gr + 4  on a UK keyboard)
3. Set your zoom to 80%
4. Set your zoom to 79%

Oh dear…

too bloody right

March 13, 2008


Now fuck off you unworthy journo-hack, that sort of stuff makes me want to cut myself.


burning question of the day

March 5, 2008

Was Bod a boy or a girl?