Before we get started, I should mention that I’ve not seen the new Transformers film. It is the way of quality critique-ing to not go see what you’re slagging off. I’m waiting for Buz to come along with me. Maybe next week, as I am not busy at the moment.
I thought the first Transformers film was suckier than a packet of lozenges. A confused and frantic mess, much like a Saturday in Primark, but with fewer 16 year olds wearing crop-tops and thongs pulled up above their jeans waistband.
I had no idea which were the “bad” robots and which were the “good” ones in the fight scenes, only to be told later that the “bad” robots weren’t the ones all painted in pretty colours. Hell, I must be getting old.
Indy le Beefs was about as interesting as speedway, and there was the standard and expected Michael Bay scene of some aircraft carriers. Which I believe is also in the new one.
So, if Buzza wants to go see the sequel – and they’re already talking about a third outing – we can. But I’d rather sit at home and hope for a Citroen advert.
Oh and just in case you think the world hasn’t gone mad – the new film has a robot in it with huge testicles. As you would. In a kid’s film.