Hello top pop fans, it’s your most rockingest top chum and top pal Steve Wrong here and I think it’s time I shared something with you.
It’s been on my heart (like last night’s double portion of Chateaubriand, a bottle of 1978 Chateau Neuf du Pape, chips, egg and spam fritters – But less burny!! You know!!?) for a while now that maybe it’s time for me to move on. Top Pop radio has moved on considerably (unlike my digestive tract!!!! YEAH!!! No seriously after all that lot I SHAT, OH!!!!) since I joined back in 1963 and maybe some people want to hear a new voice on the airwaves.
I know, I know it’s hard to believe. Why would anyone want to not hear my voice on the Big Breakfast Show (6am – 9:30) and the Massive Mid-Morning Show (9:30 – 12) and the Double Large Lunchtime Show (12 – 2) and the Hugest Afternoon Show (2 – 5) and the Mahoosive Drivetime Showstravaganza (5 – 7pm)? But it’s maybe time for me to spend less time behind the microphone and more time with my pals in my local, like Mike Rowe-Phone and Mick Singdesk!!! (YEAH!!! YOU GET IT!!). (NOTE THAT ALL MY SHOWS ARE ON THE TOP-POP-PLAYER!! A FREE DOWNLOAD!!! And you get to listen back for 12 months after each show!!!)
I leave with such great memories and remember all the wonderful letters you’ve sent in, all the faxes, all the telexes and that strange fellow who would stand on the roof of the building opposite waving his semaphore flags at me, whoever he was (I know it was you, NOEL!!!) (only kidding – who was that? And why were his messages always “Shud op anb retir yuo olb git”? WHATEVER THAT MEANS??!!! RIIIIGHT!)
It’s also time to scotch (like EGGS!!!) the rumours that I died in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike. It’s NOT TRUE!! Here I am, the real me, now aged approx 27 and LOVIN’ LIFE!!! This weekend I’ll be at the TOP POP FM ROADSHOW in sunny Skeggy, so I hope to see you all there (unless if it’s raining when I’ll be replaced by my BEST TOP DEEJ FRIEND Neil Edwards and I’ll do a Zoom call onto the BIG SCREEN from my hotel room).
Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know that I’m not stopping broadcasting and that TOP POP FM have allowed me to stay on and do some more… what? what? Oh they haven’t? Well OK.
So like I’ve said every day for the last few years, So long listeners! And don’t forget to keep sendin’ in free stuff and photos of your wives and girlfriends to the usual anonymous PO Box number!
Time for me to sign off, but let’s not say goodbye, more GOODPIE, RIGHTT!!!! Who doesn’t love a good pie? Also can someone make me a paella pie? I think that would be SUPERB!!!
Now how do I get this new fangled jingle machine to play my outtro? What? We’re off air already?