Alf Fairweather – Amateurish, workshy and inept
Alf Fairweather is an amateur blogger. He supplies his views for free to anyone and everyone who will listen to him at the pub. He has won no prestigious awards and writes for no national, or international, publications. Other media claims-to-fame are appearing on BBC Radio Suffolk as “the man who makes the sound effects” in 1990, and with Simon Amstell a couple of years ago when he won a DVD of Gabby Logan in a leotard.
His friends call Alf “a foulmouthed drunkard with a penchant for doing a terrible Irish accent when he’s had a few”, his colleagues mention how he “smells like a tramp and swears”, the local paper called him a “…potty mouthed…menace…”, and the police “…Nigel Mansell…but sweary…”.
He was never convicted.
Alf lives in the UK in a cold house. He is owned by a bipolar cat.
Launched to a claim that “he’ll stop doing it in a fortnight”, boredofjam is among the bottom 100 sites on the entire internet and has upwards of 3 visitors a day. It offers nothing practical. There are no comedy flash animations with funny songs you can sing along to, no free software and no lovely porny movies to torrent illegally from a secret members-only-porny-movie torrent server.
You can’t become a fan of the site on Facebook. You might be able to look at it on your mobile phone, but that’ll only be because someone else has done the hard work. I think there’s something about RSS, but I don’t much care for it as a technology, so you’ll have to tell me.
The site works on Windows and Linux and Apple Macs. But works best when loaded up on a ZX Spectrum from a C-15 tape. (A Ceefax version is available for the hard of hearing).
You can follow it on Twitter, though.
Are you going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro by any chance?
Actually I think you’ll find that
His friends call Alf “a foulmouthed drunkard with a penchant for doing terrible accents (frequently a border-hopping Irish abomination) at the drop of a hat, or the second he hears alcohol hitting the bottom of the glass, whichever is sooner”
Ahhh, f’k orf, will ye?
Dear Jam Man,
My parents also told me that I should become an astronaut when, aged 6 and at time considered a mathematical genius at my school, I asked them what people who were good at maths grew up to become. They must all have been watching the same black and white to show. Or maybe we have the same parents? Anyway, it didn’t last. By 18 I was failing A Level Pure Maths and by 25 I’d developed a fear of heights. I’m now nothing but a wannabe stargazer. I don’t even blow regularly. It’s too much like real work…x