cambridge folk festival 2011 – line up leaked

February 28, 2011

So I have my ticket. My LONESOME SINGULAR boredofjam ticket. Yes, folks, even Wifey and BigBlueSturge are abandoning me, preferring instead to take their hideously beautiful family to somewhere that hideously beautiful families go.

Anyway, to cut a long story short (and it was tediously long before I deleted it from the post), I broke into the Cambridge Folk Festival offices and discovered the list of artists playing this year. I present it, below:

JONESY AND COMPANY. As cool and sweet as a pickled cucumber that’s been set on fire, JONESY AND COMPANY play pop music, but one of them once saw someone reading a book on hurdy gurdies, so we let them in this year. They hope to reach the charts sometime in 2015 and have been featured in passing conversation on Radcliffe and Maconie‘s show (off air, whilst a record was playing).
LOUDENKOPF. This year we welcome Germany’s award winning 11-piece traditional party folk music band to the festival. LOUDENKOPF have this year won every single prize at the Deutsche Musik Radioen Zwei Gefolken Awards.
MOSES AND THE COMMANDMENTS. Reformed after a 2 year split where each member followed their own projects (mainly on a till in Tescos), MOSES AND THE COMMANDMENTS were originally formed after five other bands spilt up so they could all shag each other with no hard feelings. No Hard Feelings disbanded the following week sighting “a burning sensation” when they “peed”. (Suspect these are musical terms? – Ed)
ALL MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS. AMFF are, this year, sponsored by the DHSS. At least it certainly seems that way. No particular emphasis on putting anything out other than their EP, “Oh god Jeremie Kylie!!!! His so cool!!!LMAO!!”. We welcome them to the club tent. Although we suspect they think it’s a tent for clubbing. Gie ’em a squeezebox and see what happens. It’ll be like a backward kitten playing Space Harrier.
DOUGLAS ADAMS’S(tm) FOLKIE’S GUIDE TO THE FESTIVAL. Specially commissioned by someone who never met the man, but had money and no shame, the FOLKIE’S GUIDE is sure to be an ironic masterpiece. Take that as you will.
SUPER-MEGA-DOOPER-GROUPO-FANTASTICO. A one-off performance from all of this year’s bands, groups, acts, singers and musicians. Please note: The audience will be seated on the stage and the band will take up the rest of the Stage 1 tent.
CAR SICK DOG. These guys first came to light in 1954 singing Bob Dylan songs in a Calypso style. These days, despite being on their 27th line-up, they still sing their traditional songs, including covers from Lady Gaga’s latest opus.
iFOLK. This year’s iFOLK is the best iFOLK ever! So easy, it just works. Please note, in order to see iFOLK, you must pay £600, sign over your right to actually hear and see it, and allow iFOLK to enter your home and remove anything from your house they don’t think you should have. No refunds. Next year’s iFOLK is the best iFOLK ever, much better than that shitty fuckin’ 2011 iFOLK, I mean who the fuck bought one of those? Losers! Get this one, it’s got much better stuff. You like better stuff, yes? That’s because you’re cool. £600 is only £600. YOU CANNOT ATTEND iFOLK IF YOU HAVE EVER LISTENED TO ANY OTHER MUSIC IN YOUR LIFE.
SIMONE AND GARTH UNKEL. The most famous folk group to ever rock up at Cambridge, SIMONE AND GARTH UNKEL had a stream of hits in the south-Lancashire folk clubs back in the 1960s. They once played near Rochdale. They have a unique take on most things, including personal hygiene. Join them, just not too close, eh?

So there you have it. A quick run down of some of the acts at this year’s Folk Festival. It’s bound to be a brilliant time. Do say “Hi” if you spot me, alone.

PS. Did I mention the “alone” thing?

cambridge folk festival line up 2

May 22, 2009

Last year’s festival was one of the best yet, however this year we’ve got a treat for all you people hopeless enough to sit on the telephone all day last Sunday.

The organisers and sponsors of this year’s The Cooperative’s The Cambridge Folk Festival are proud to announce the following additions to the already extensive and eclectic line up:

Winners of last year’s South-East Birmingham Roots Breakthrough award, these lively Brummies will get your feet tapping through mindless threats of violence toward your person, or those you know. Their crowd-pleasing double-A sider of “We know where you live”/”Our Mates, Our Crowbars” will make you rush back home and miss the rest of the Festival. They will be both appearing and not appearing on Thursday night.

Formed from the remaining original members of 1940s blues band FULL TRACT, Semi_Colon play lightening-fast rhythm and blues, mainly because their bags need changing regularly. Controversial in the 1970s following their massed lower-gut removal operations in support of people with “glandular” issues,  Semi_Colon are now more laid back than ever (or as much as their commode chairs allow).
Focussing on themes such as the indignity of growing old, aren’t those nurses looking younger, and how come a loaf of bread costs about 40 shillings these days, the Semis will play their set on a rubber mat, just in case of dire need.

Usually accompanied by a sousaphone, a double-bass, some timpani and a grand piano, the Losts raise high roofs even higher! This year, though, following a time at Heathrow’s arrivals lounge filling in forms to get their instruments back, Lost Property will be singing a cappella.

If yodelling be the food of love, this is your night for a slap-up meal, Bro’. These award winning, title holding and exceptionally talented Half Uncles will soothe any sore heads with dramatic soundscapes produced by four uniquely talented men. And a gallon of beer each. Stephen Fry is said to be a fan (look out for him, he may be standing next to you in the queue for the toilet!).
See them after the Festival on The One Show with that lovely bird on the sofa.

Achingly beautiful songs make up literally .5% of the repertoire of the ‘Eevers. Brought together by svengali figurine Richard Thompson, the only man in music to make a guitar die from boredom, the band are brought to the stage whilst still asleep in their beds or whilst watching Hollyoaks.
Interviews with Dazza and Yo-Bizzle (Brian), the band are very keen to expand their expertise in COD5 and will demonstrate their l33t 5k1llz live on stage by throwing an XBOX-360 controller through £10,000-worth of giant plasma screen before declaring that their parents are “bloody bastards” and that they “never get nuffink nice no more” before “goin for a faaaaag ain I?”.

Cambridge Folk Festival: Line up changes

July 29, 2008

The Cambridge Folk Festival and its sponsors are proud to announce the following update to the line up for this weekend’s festival!

Dressed in black and sporting lank beards with hair to match, Those Are Just The Roadies have taken many crowds by storm with their seminal hits “1-2, 1-2”, “Sibiliance”, “Foldback in three” and “Keith? Keith? Number 2 right?”. Look out for them as they raise the roof on Tuesday morning on the Empty Stage near the duck pond.

Winners of the Breakthrough Award Winners Award, The Tour Dates are appearing at Cambridge on 10th, 11th, 12th September, Lincoln Arts Centre in October, Brighton Komedia on 1st November – 28th October and the Charlton Heston Folk Club throughout 2009.

The Elready phenomenons have already been a big hit at NOMAD, Gooseberry and the VD festivals this year and their sleeper hit, “…” reached almost the charts in 1996. Featuring Boz from Nana’s Nanas and Steve Skunk late of The Not The Band, their trip-folk-psych-hop-rockabilly-punk fusion is bound to catch up to you and stab you in the eyes before stealing your wallet in a dark alleyway.

Hailing from near where you live, Judge John Lunch has been featured on the radio in his home town, having phoned up to talk about why oh why do they still let the foreigners in. His current studio album is being produced by Marty Nedlemun, who has recently been inside for inciting hatred amongst the Polack for fun. Taking his inspiration from a bottle of gin, expect Judge John Lunch to entertain and resist arrest at 4pm in the beer tent.

NOGOA are Folk’s first supergroup. Hand-picked by Mike Harding from a selection of 7 people (6 girls, one man) who applied to be on Folk Idol, the winning 6 young ladies are bound to be the hots, we mean “hits” of the festival this year. Taking their look from the Burlesque and their sound from some ancient 1960s/70s beardy bloke from Manchester, what’s not to love? Next year, when they’re all finally 18, Uncle Mike will be discarding them for a new, younger, set of pretties. The world of folk is, after all, tough. Perhaps he could be calling on you? Look out for their cover of “The Rochdale Cowboy” now re-released as “The Rochdale Cowgirrrrrls”.

bellowhead, cambridge junction 1, april 21

April 22, 2008

BigBlueSturge and I took ourselves off to watch a band last night. Bellowhead are their name, and very super they are too.

Having arrived at the conclusion over the weekend that the car had rather run out of MOT, BigBlue had to drive to Cambridge in his eccentric and archaeological Passat (£350-to-you-squire). We managed to get parked up just before the thing overheated, despite the best attempts of (a) my TomTom and (b) the idiot driver in the Japanese car in front of us (for sale, £6000 ono).

If you’ve never been to a Bellowhead gig, then you’re missing out. Usually fronted by stage legends John Spiers and Jon Boden, Spiers was absent on paternity leave. His place was taken by melodeon-legend Saul Rose, who, by the end of the encore, had not only demonstrated that Spiers had best not stay away for too long, but also that it was like an oven on stage.

They truly deserve their gongs for Best Live Act from the Radio 2 Folk Awards. Ably supported by Benji Kirkpatrick (who, er, plays the guitar-esque instruments in Bellowhead anyhoo (cheapskates)), the evening flew by with many old favourites enjoyed and some new material considered.

Below are some pictures from the evening. Bearing in mind they were taken with the camera on my phone and it’s got Sony’s patented “Shit Zoom” facility, I figured I’d go all arty and try and capture the colour and energy of the performance and performers, rather than anything that resembles a “good photograph” (they look ok as thumbnails, just beware the big-up pics when you click).

Bellowhead logo

Saul Rose

Benji Kirkpatrick

Benji Kirkpatrick

Jon Boden

Jon Boden

Paul Sartin

Pete Flood

Rachael McShane

Rose, Kirkpatrick, Boden - frontline

Saul Rose

Saul Rose

Bellowhead, left side of stage

Bellowhead, right side of stage


August 23, 2007

It turns out that Tim Henman’s tried to annnounce he’s retiring.

Trouble is he didn’t make it through to the first round of questions.

tickets for the folk festival/a nice day out (double a-side)

May 7, 2007

It’s a tradition, or an old charter, or something, which decrees that someone has to take themselves off to Cambridge in order to queue for tickets to the Folk Festival.

So David and I flung ourselves down the A14 and went to Cambridge for the most unproductive and infuriating five hours I’ve ever experienced. However we managed to drink a fair few cups of coffee in Starbucks, and I even chanced a slice of their granola bar).

In a boredofjam first, here’s a video of the queue as we walked along it…

Did we get tix? Eventually. Literally three minutes before the hotline closed Dave managed to get through (this being after spending the day on redial duty on two mobiles, and even having to resort to buying a charger to use in the car after my battery died two-and-a-half hours in).

bob dylan plays wembley; unc plays out

April 23, 2007

I guess Bob is “like a rolling stone” these days as they’re all as old as the hills.

This didn’t stop almost-as-old Unc going along and seeing the Robert Zimmerframe and his band. Spurred on by the utterly atrocious review written for one of the Sunday broadsheets*, Unc took time out from his hectic schedule of protecting the innocent to write a concert review for boredofjam. We pass you now to the hi-tech of Unc’s 1920 IBM Typing Machine 2:

Venue - Wembley Arena

Artist(e) - Bob Dylan

Date - 17th April 2007

Well it was a privilege and a 'onor to have been at the same place as this legendary legend of acoustic electric rock folk, folks.
Admittedly he is getting on a bit and the gig did not start until 8:30 pm but he did a whole set and an on-core without a comfort break.
The band were excellent which gave the backdrop to some classic Dylan songs presented in a distinctive, brittle, gravelly but familiar vocal style. The new arrangements allowed, and suited, a degree of minimalist vocal rendition but every note and phrase exuded pure quality.
Uncle Bob was playing like a veteran on the guitar, keyboards and harmonica.
He presented as a slight impassive figure in grey suit, 3/4 length jacket and wide brimmed hat but has lost none of his charisma.
The line up was a good mix of traditional folk songs and Dylan classics. Rolling Stone; Watchtower; Highway 61, and some new stuff. (Buy the album). The whole gig was just shy of 2 hours but everyone appreciated the occasion and we all joined in with the classic refrains. At the end we were all part of the collective feeling of relief that he made it through the performance without any obvious medical support.
Yes, dear reader it was an evening well spent.
Even more so that someone else paid for the tickets.

* As I said to Unc at the time:
There was a review of Robert Dylanesque in the Torygraph today (they’d run out of Timeses) and it really didn’t say anything at all. It gave him a five out of five, but it just rambled on about how Dylan seems to
reinvent himself oocasionally – look here he is writing a book; in a film; on the radio. What was the concert like? Well, he sang a bit and didn’t say anything between the songs. 5/5. Done job.


November 16, 2006

popped along to Wembley arena last friday to see Paul Simon and his band.

Here’s a low quality picture of the Arena from the eerie-style position me and me ol’ mother had, clicky for bigness:

Paul Simon at Wembley Arena

The gig was great, although it seemed to take about half-an-hour or so for the audience to warm up (“Me and Julio…” will get you up’n’dancing after all). Spoilt only mildly by the fuckwit in the row in front who wouldn’t shut the hell up either clapping, wooping or calling out during the quiet songs and helped the concert along with such wisdom as “You fuckin’ rock” during a guitar-soloed “Wartime Prayers”.

As I said to mum as we walked through the rain to Wembley Central, there’s only one word for people like that and it begins with “cunt”.

(‘Scuse the French)