regarding whowerd

March 24, 2009

Hands up who thinks that David Tennant’s Doctor in the BBC’s eponymous time-travel show, Dr Who, has a touch of the Frankie Howerds about him? All that “Don’t.. don’t… don’t…” nonsense is surely a give away.

How long before RTD gives up completely and we get prime examples of this in an upcoming special?:

“OoooOOoooh! Donna! OoooOoh he’s The Master, he says, oooOoooOOoh! Now… well… you wouldn’t oooh, you mustn’t… mustn’t mock the regenerated, no..”

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is starbuck a cylon?

January 23, 2009

Ah, Battlestar Galactica goodness.

Is Starbuck a Cylon? She thinks she is. But we’ve found out that the fifth Cylon is Ellen Tigh, so what can Thrace now deliver to us in the last few episodes of the story? We know that she has a destiny. But that can mean anything (and sounds terribly Star Wars, and she’s already led the fleet to Earth, so maybe it’s done and gone.

Is she:

* A “lost” Cylon
* One of the gods
* A next generation something-or-other
* Just plain fucked up

What we do know is that her scary-burnt-up Earth equivalent, has heat-proof blonde hair.


Dr WHollyoaks

January 3, 2009

It’ll be an interesting series 5 of venerable TV Sci-fi romp “Doctor Who” now that they’ve gone down the employ-pretty-little-boys route.

However, I wasn’t up for David Tennant taking the role, so what do I know?


those dr who rumours put to rest

December 24, 2008

The BBC have announced the new Dr Who and Assistant for the fifth full series.  Jeremy Clarkson will be the Doctor and Richard Hammond will feature as a new character “Hamster”.

Discussing this ground-breaking move of combining the BBC’s two most popular light-entertainment programmes, Lord Attenborough said, “How else to bring the power of Top Gear and Dr Who to new and exciting audiences? We’ll splice their very DNA! Like in Jurassic Park! What could possibly go wrong? We’ve spared no expense!”

A special scene has been filmed between the two new characters and shown to the media. A transcript follows:

Doctor Clarkson: Some say that I’m a mysterious traveller in time, meddling in things that are of no concern to me. Others call me an omen. All anyone really knows is that I’m called… <camera zooms to face> The Doc

Hamster: Doctor, can we, that’s you and me, little me, little Hamstery me, go to Roman times and do chariot racing?

Dr Clarkson: Don’t be so stupid, Hammond, of course not! They’re the cocks of history. Never trust a cock in a toga, that’s what I say.

Hamster: I thought it was cocks in Audis?

Doctor: Well, yes, they’re cocks too. But! If you look on this special wall I’ve had installed in the Tardis… I like to call it the “Cock Wall”… we can see that over on the right side, waaaayyy over there,  the Romans are Massive Cocks, whilst over here on the left, Ford Mustang engineers are little teeny-tiny winkies.

Hamster: So… so, so… What you’re saying… is… stuff history, let’s go drive some proper cars… Cars with big, hot, throbbing engines.

Doctor: Yes. Something with a lot of meaty power. And not at all cock-like. All that thrusting, manly power! And we’ll be sat there, feeling it giving us the ride of our lives!

Hamster: Right! Right! Right!

Doctor: So, let’s go to a Ford Mustang salesroom in the USA in the year 2009! Hear that deep throaty roar! In fact… <looks at camera> let’s stop off… and get <he winks> The Stig…


new dr who rumour

October 21, 2008

Hot internets rumour of the day has it that all 10 Doctors will be back in Series 6 to play The Doctor. Each Doc will deliver one line in ten.

In this exclusive extract from Dave Moffat’s (Are you sure? – Ed) first script, we can see how all the classic characters work together:

#1: Susan! Come here girl!
#2: Look out! A Yeti!
#3: Hmm… perhaps I should go and see the Brigadier! To Bessie!
#4: Jelly baby?
#5: Ah, Tegan. Seen Adric?
#6: Who else were you expecting?
#7: Ken Dod?
#8: Just passing!
#9: Run!
#10: what? What? WHAT?

Omnes: DAVROS!

Exeunt, pursued by a Dalek.


science news

September 24, 2008

I notice that the Hadron Collider has “broken”.

It’s going to take them 25 years to fix it, but because of the hole they’ve ripped in space/time, it’ll be done by 10th September 2008.

(now with better punchline)


macgyver got fat

August 31, 2008

I’ve just finished watching the new Stargate: Continuum DVD movie.

It was brilliant.

A couple of things to note:
1. Richard Dean Anderson is now wide. Big wide. Should have a sign on hims ass.
2. Ben Browder is dying his hair. Badly. Should have a sign on hims ass.
3. Claudia Black is still a top lovely. And Amanda Tapping. But Claudia will suffice. And I’m not even going to mention their behinds.