Covid Dapperfield (or “Stop Touching Yourself”)

I have taken to pen and parchment to write my latest chocolate Magnum opus, “Covid Dapperfield”.

The story of a young man made good by selling second-hand toilet paper to the poor folk of Blunderstone, Covid stalks the land looking for any opportunity to under-whelm, yet stoke fear and anxiety. Mishearing a message shouted from the pig sties, Covid passes on the words “Barkis is willing”, when in fact later on Peggoty discovers that he was actually “swillin'” as the pigs were hungry and the hordes had emptied the shelves in Micawber’s deli. They marry anyway as they can’t quite work out if they are related. Soon Covid and Betsey Trotwood discover that Micawber’s “Luxury thin sliced Ham” is not what they first thought.

Now read on… (But wash your hands first).

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